Less than 3 weeks....

So, after last weekend's 2+2 the plan was 90mins run and 90mins in the sea this weekend. It is hard to get motivated for the sessions now as they don't seem to have a purpose as such. I know it is just to keep me ticking over and to stop my body from shutting off but it is hard mentally. I did a 90min run on Saturday at the gym on the treadmill as I have been a bit worried about my ankle. It is just a niggle, but it is frustrating as I have never had any problems in all my training time. I can just feel it, it feels in equal measures weak and stiff but it survived the run on saturday fine. I just worry about what 87miles might do to it! Plus I have my RAF fitness test on Tuesday which involves the bleep test shuttle runs and I am worried about the effect of that. I have considered asking the PEd staff to allow me a few months leeway but it seems silly that I can't pass a basic fitness test when I should be the fittest I have ever been!

Physically everything I do seems to make me tired at the moment so I am giving myself lots of rest. Emotionally I know I am also struggling. I am not nervous yet but accomplishing easy tasks seems such an effort. I was trying to explain something simple to Adam about how we could do my feeding yesterday and I just couldn't make myself understood. And it was too hard to try and explain so I got frustrated and we had a little row. So then I went upstairs to have a little cry. Thankfully Ad has seen it all before and understands so soon afterwards came upstairs to give me a cuddle, run me a bath and pack me off to bed!

Anyway, the swim today was a bit lumpy but that's all good training. Though the time seemed to drag actually enjoyed being out there on the oceans waves with my boy and Cedric the Seal for company. It was really fun and I only have one more dip now over at Anderby before the big swim. On the weekend of the 13/14 Aug all the people who have supported me with my swimming are coming to join me for a final good luck swim followed by bacon butties like normal people might do!

I am frantically making lists, buying things I probably don't need, washing piles of clothes and packing and unpacking over and over. I just want to get it all done over the next week so the final week I can just focus and not be worried! We'll see how that works out!