10hrs.....

The big one. The KEY session. The moment whether I find out if I really have what it takes to swim the Channel. No pressure then. 10hrs. It's a long time to do anything. Let along swimming.......

I woke up tired on the day of the big swim. Not surprising really as it's just before 6am and I haven't really slept. Ad says that it's good that I'm tired. That it's replicating how tired I will be during the real thing. It's slim comfort. Plus it makes me slightly want to hit him.

Despite having tried to be organised and loaded the kayak the night before we are still late getting away. We have decided it is only fair to bring the dog with us today as we are away for such a long time but as she starts catawauling away in the boot, I wonder if it is such a good idea. I have marshaled lots of support for today and many brilliant people are going to turn up to help and support me swimming. First up are the Bainbridge family who we meet on arrival at Anderby. Jackie asks me what time of the day do you call this (no surprises, we are late) but I think she's kidding! Their eldest son, Sam, is going to join me for the first few hours trying out his new wetsuit (a BlueSeventy Helix like mine - good lad) before a race he has tomorrow in Wakefield. I think it is for Jane's appeal (the charity set up in memory of Jane Tomlinson) as that is who they did their Channel relay for. Sam is a much better swimmer than me so, knowing we are pressed for time, I head out into the water knowing he will catch me up once he has finished struggling into his wetsuit.

As we have Heidi we us, Ad is going to walk the shore for the first few hours with John (Sam's Dad) to keep an eye on us before my in-laws arrive to take over dog duty. It is surprisingly warm in the water and I feel calm and relaxed. Today is the day and I just have to get on with it. I think Sam swims in circles round me as I only see him periodically but that suits me at the moment, I am happy in my own little world and the time passes quickly to my first feed at 45mins. As Ad is on the shore I come into the beach for my first feed and am met by lovely fiance and very excitable dog who swims up to me gulping saltwater as she snaps at the waves. It is a nice break but I head back out quickly, wanting to establish a rhythm. I feel great during the next 45mins before my second feed at an hour and a half. For the first time ever the time is passing quickly and I like the control of having the watch on my wrist counting me down. I am very happy being alone and not feeling stressed by anything. I am almost jubilant at how easily it seems to be coming to me today but in my head I caution myself not to jump too far ahead. I know how quickly the low points come and how hard they can be to climb out of.

At 90mins I waded back into the shore for my next feed and Sam, finishing his stint, headed in. I told Ad all was going well, chugged back my warmed energy drink and headed out again. I was enjoying the solitude and being lost in my own thoughts and the water was the best I have ever seen. I had thought with the heavy rain the night before the silt may have been churned up and the temperature cooler but it was just the opposite, warm and as clear as can be expected in the North sea! For the first time I didn't have a cold dip around the 1hr 45 mark. I knew from the 2hr mark lots of good things would happen in sequence each planned to get me to the next feed. By the 2hr mark my in-laws had arrived and I gave them a wave as they struggled to stop Heidi flying into the sea again to say 'Hi' as Ad gave me my next feed. I told him that so far everything was going well and it was the best first few hours I had had. I had asked Hannah to come in and join me between 11am and 12pm which, had we been on time, would have been hour 3-4. However, as I came in for my 2hr 30 feed I was still feeling like I wanted to be on my own and was going to ask Ad to delay Hannah until a bit later. However, I saw her already suited up and on her way down so I felt like I couldn't ask her to wait now. Hannah is my secret weapon! Her and Robert got me through my last swim and I wanted to keep her in reserve almost, until I really felt like a needed a boost. She is just perfect to swim with as she always gets on the right side of me (literally not figuratively!!) because I only breathe to my left side and she swims at exactly the same speed so gets me into a perfect strong yet sustainable rhythm. She's ace! :)

Anyway, Han came into join me and I settled down again knowing that she would pull me through the next hour whatever happens. She assured me there was also more help to come. Lots of her wonderful friends who literally only know me through being on Han's distribution list, had also turned up, some to sit ALL day and were there just for me, to support me and swim with me when I needed it. Honestly, it restores your faith in the good of humanity and I couldn't believe all these people would willing give up their time to sit on a cold beach all day and help someone out who they didn't even know. It was very much appreciated!!

Nearing the end of Han's hour, Debs came in to join us. I have met Debs before at a session at Whisby and she had been concerned she'd be too slow to come and help out today. Not so! She was easily matching the speed of Han and I which was great because I knew I'd have at least another hour of someone swimming around the same speed as me. I could feel though that the happiness of the first few hours was beginning to fade and I set myself up for the first dip which was bound to come soon! It is important when the dips come to just keep focusing on small goals and working through things that occur. This is why I love endurance stuff, it's pretty much a metaphor for life! You get some real down moments when you go really long and you have to learn to work through them and every time you do you grow more confident and appreciate that you can get through most things that life throws at you. I knew if I could just work through the hour with Debs then that would take me to 4.5hours and from there I could get to 5hrs. I couldn't wait to get to the 5 hour point as then I knew I was working downwards towards my goal of ten hours. I kept working out the minutes a lot. I do this when I am running too. I knew I had 600 minutes in total to do and if you count down in minutes in seems to always be quite a big proportion that has gone everytime you reassess. For example after only 40mins I was down to 560 minutes which sort of sounds like a good chunk of the total! I don't know, it seems to work!

After 4.5hours Debs headed in and my last support swimmers swam out to join me. I've never met Caroline before but I knew that she was coming out to do a stint and she also introduced Simon to me. They set themselves up on either side of me and we headed off down the bay. With Caroline on my right hand side, I couldn't really see her but I could tell immediately that Simon was a much stronger swimmer than me. I could tell he was trying to stay with me to encourage me along but despite this he kept pulling ahead. He even resorted to doing breaststroke at points. It is funny writing about it afterwards as you realise how fragile your mental state is during big sessions like this. Obviously Simon was trying to help and had given up his time to come and support but during that leg down the bay I was getting more and more cross with him! I was having a real dip and when you're in a down moment and really struggling just to keep yourselves moving forward and someone is next to you doing breaststroke because it is just so easy for them, it makes you go a little crazy!! Anyway, we turned down at the bottom and began the return leg back to base camp for my next feed, the 5hr point, hurray! I was keeping very close to the shore, almost able to touch the bottom. When Caroline gestured for me to move out a bit, I explained I was keeping close because I was due to come in for a feed and didn't want to have to make my way in from too deep. She accepted this but I think they both understood I was feeling the need to be by myself a bit and they stayed out deeper whilst I struggled along feeling sorry for myself.

I hadn't realised it but around the time Simon and Caroline got in the tides had also changed and now I was fighting the tide the opposite way to what I had when I first got in. This was also messing with my head as I had built up a routine - fight down the bay against the tide for 15mins or so, turn and drift fast back to base for about 6 minutes, swim past base along the row of houses on the shore line for a few minutes and then turn and fight the tide back to base - 30mins dead. It was a good routine and I was settled but with the tides turning I know couldn't work out how long I was suppose to go in each direction so the first time I swam 15mins down the bay with the drift of the tide and it took an age to get back to base. It took so long that I was late for my 5hr feed and psychologically it was a struggle. Anyway, Caroline and Simon cheered me on through my 5hr feed and congratulated me on making it through half way. I was trying to be pleasant but I felt so bad for them as they definitely got the worst shift having to put up with down and grumpy and spiteful Rachael!! We set off again up the bay fighting the current along the row of houses to the turn point. I was really starting to feel quite sick so Simon took me out deeper to try and help avoid the choppiest of the waves nearest the shore. It was a sensible strategy but I was just desperate for the next feed to come so I could get in and see Ad. I was starting to get a bit worked up on this point, I was feeling sick, mentally quite down and also my breathing was seeming to get a bit shallower - I was probably just getting a bit overwhelmed by it all and panicky. Funnily enough, breathing to the other side for a few strokes helped a bit so maybe it wasn't all psychosomatic and actually all the breathing only to my left side was compressing the ribs on that side a bit thus impeding my breathing.

After an age we came in for my 5.5hr feed and I definitely had quite a massive mental wobble. Ad came out to meet me with my next feed and I burst into tears. I told him I wasn't sure if I could do it, that I was struggling to breathe and generally got totally overwhelmed by everything and started to panic. I think I felt stressed by trying to keep up with Simon and also the change to the routine Ad and I normally have of just the two of us with me feeding out of the kayak. Having all that support was utterly amazing and I couldn't have done it without everyone but I think the pressure of everyone being there for me and the expectation on me just got too much.

Ad was totally brilliant and manage to calm me down. He subtly funnelled Caroline and Simon out of the water (bless them I felt terrible, they had just been trying to help and I had gone all mental on them!) and told me to take a deep breath, head out on my own, taking it steady and getting back into my own headspace and that he would get the kayak and come out to join me in a few minutes. It was just what I needed and I took a deep breath, pushed all the panicky feelings back down inside and set off. After first the panic and tears threaten to take over again but I took it steady and soon I calmed again. Adam came to join me in the kayak which was a great comfort as ever, and soon we got back into a rhythm. We stopped heading so far down the bay as fighting to tide to get back to camp was too stressful mentally so we did small circles along the few hundred metres of shore either side of camp. By the time I reached the 6hr mark I was feeling a lot more settled and knew that after my next feed, it would be my longest swim to date and a series of milestones were to come. It was funny how at my six hour swim, I had my dips around the 3hr mark but at 6hrs I felt like I could have swum forever whereas this time I didn't really get a dip until 5 or so hours in but I was totally ready to quit it all at that point!

Ad stayed with me until my next feed which was a great milestone. The longest I have swum to date was 6hrs 33mins during my 11mile swim in the Lanzarote Ultra. So I knew in just a few more minutes it would be the longest I had ever swum which was a good feeling. I also knew it I could just get 90 more minutes or so under my belt then we were home and dry, I could get Hannah in for an hour or so and soon we'd be into the last hour. So I really tried to zone out, get my head down and push on. When Ad had come out kayaking he had taken the watch back so as to be in control of my feeding and when he went in around the 7hr mark to swop with his Dad for an hour or so, I forgot to get it back. I am unsure whether having the watch helped me or not really. It was great in the first few hours when time was passing by so quickly but I'm not sure how I would have felt with it during the later hours when everything was becoming a bit of a struggle. Mike came in to do a stint in the kayak with me and we nearly lost Heidi to the sea again. She loves water and had enjoyed having a little swim out to join me so far when I had come in to get my feeds. However, now I wasn't coming in to feed she took this as a signal to come out and join me in deeper water and a few times we had to shunt her back into the shore. In fact, Ad had to swim out and get her one time as she appeared to be off to Holland!

Between 7 and 8 hours I was starting to feel a bit down again, mainly because the water had started to chop up a little and I was really starting to feel nauseous. I hadn't learnt my lesson of Weymouth and taken my seasickness tablets which was a bit silly. I just couldn't believe the water was actually making me feel this sick though actually the constant getting up from horizontal to vertical this time probably hadn't helped either. I was feeling really unhappy in the water just because I felt so dreadful. I stopped unenthusiastically for my feed at 7.5hrs and poor Caroline again seemed to get the short straw as she came in to join me for an hour or so. I followed Mike out a bit deeper where the water was calmer and just tried to get my head down and arms moving. My arms had been sore in both shoulders, which is unusual as normally only my left shoulder hurts, but thanks to some crafty ibuprofen at the 6hr point, they were easing well. Feeling really grotty I stopped by the kayak for my 8hr feed. I was really really happy to have reached this point as I knew know that not only was the 10 achievable but also that I could feasibly stop now and still have a good chance on the day. Eddie stopped Steve Haywood at 8hrs during his 10hr swim as he truly believe he was already ready at that stage to tackle the Channel; Steve successfully became the second person to complete the Enduroman Arch 2 Arc.

Mike handed me down my warmed feed and I tred water next to the kayak whilst trying to swallow down the drink. As Mike rooted around for a biscuit or something to accompany the drink, I was overwhelmed by a sense of nausea. Spinning desperately around to try not to inflict the inevitable on Mike, I was spectacularly sick 6 or 7 times with the final time projecting straight from the pit of my stomach out into the sea. Mike calmly stated, "Ooh, so that came straight back up then!" and hunted around for a bit of tea to wash out my mouth. I was creeped out that I might be swimming around in my sick but thankfully it seemed to have rapidly dispersed. Still, we weren't done yet so I got my head back down and started swimming. After actually being sick I did begin to feel so much better. I was worried that having lost a lot of food and fuel I bit start to feel more tired and weak but actually I felt rejuvenated and strong. We may have to tweak the feeding though, perhaps having a drink with protein in isn't necessary every 30mins and we'll alternate with a carb only drink every so often.

As we headed to 8hrs 30, I could see the end was in sight. Caroline had swopped with Debs and I knew soon Hannah would be heading with me for the final stretch. Ad swopped with Mike again and came out with me and I felt as comfortable as I had all day. I knew it was just a case of getting into a rhythm and counting down those final 90minutes. With and hour to go, Han came into join me and we headed out for what was to be the last few laps of the bay. The tides were such that whichever direction we now swum in we didn't seem to be making much progress so we just headed in small laps up and down in front of base camp. At the 9hour point I took a feed from Ad which happily seemed to go down quite well and asked for the watch back so I could count down every one of those final minutes. I couldn't believe having started at 600 we were now down to the final 60. I really enjoyed that last hour, it is a tried and tested formula and I was feeling comfortable and, though tired, strong. Like the six hour swim, knowing I was about to be allowed to get out, I felt like I could have swum for much longer which is positive!

Finally as the last minutes counted down, Han gave me a high five and a massive congratulatory hug and we made the final turn at the end of the bay. All we had to do was swim in to base camp and we were done! Ad went on ahead to drag the kayak in and get my towel and stuff ready and Han and I enjoyed the final drift into shore, stopping the clock at 10hours and 1 minute!

Everyone came down to congratulate me which was amazing. As I watched my family and friends I felt an enormous sense of gratitude that these people would give up their weekend to come and support and help me. Hannah was a trooper, she had hot chocolate on the go for me before she had even taken off her own wetsuit and Ad sat me down and got me stripped off and wrapped up. I enjoyed listening to the tales of the day from the shore perspective and basked in the knowledge that we were now good to go for the swim. After saying good bye to the stalwarts Debs and Hannah who had stayed through to the bitter end, we bundled a wet and tired dog into the car and headed off for fish and chips at Horncastle before wishing Mike and Ellen goodbye and heading home. I just about managed to wash out the wetsuits and hang them up (the only compulsory post swim activity - everything else can wait) and then relaxed into a warm bath filled with my Neom Organics Bath Oil (a fabulous birthday present). Warm and dry, I rubbed some Aromatherapy Associates Deep Tissue Muscle Gel (another fantastic birthday pressie choice!) into my aching shoulders and thankfully slid into bed, fully aware that I would sleep like a baby!! A very successful day all round and a huge thank you to all those who made it so!