I also get nervous after I have put a target out there as I always worry about not making it. I am such a dichotomy I suppose, I totally feel that, on the day, I can swim for as long as it takes - I know I can dig that deep, and yet, I worry constantly about not having the mental focus to make training targets. I don't know really what that means, I suppose at this stage I should get a sports psychologist involved!! I just guess I feel a lot of the time that I can't be bothered with the training - I feel I can harness everything I need to to be able to get the challenge done and I almost feel that using mental strength to get through training sessions is a waste I guess. I don't know!!
Anyway, the wonderful Robert and Hannah had rallied the Anderby crew and a lot of people were coming down to support me which was fabulous as I think otherwise Ad and I probably would've stayed curled up in bed! After a bit of a late start, which we excused by saying the weather was better later in the day but was really because we were being lazy, we finally set off on the road around 9am. The promised sun was just about breaking through the clouds when we arrived at Anderby and Adam jogged down to the beach to check conditions as I did my usual dash to the loo after a last minute attempt to fully hydrate during the drive. Conditions were A-Ok so there was no excuse not to suit up and head down to the beach. I have to help carry the kayak and supplies down the boardwalk and across the sand to the beach and I secretly always resent it as I get a bit psychosomatic and start to imagine all the detriment it is causing to my arms and how tired they will be before I even get in the water!
We are trying a new feeding system using a maltodextrin complex carbohydrate drink with a little added protein to try and give me more sustained energy. I love my H30 Pro but, as it is purely isotonic, I have found I just can't rely on it solely during the swims. I tried to use it last weekend and get my carbs from proper food (which is what I do on the run - H30 Pro for hydration and salts and normal food for energy) but I just couldn't get enough food down me during the short feeds plus it is a lot harder to eat solid food during the swim.
At 10.45am I set off through the breakers to start the 6hr swim. The water felt a lot colder than last weekend in Weymouth but a lot warmer than it has been early in the season! I set off parallel to the shoreline and after a few moments Ad pulled up alongside me in the kayak. I love having Ad beside me during these swims, it settles me and gives me a good focus plus I can feel him willing me on and it makes me stronger to feel his support. We are trying a routine of feeing after 45mins then 90mins and then every half an hour after that. In Weymouth the first 45mins flew by so I expected this to be the same. However, it seemed to drag a lot more this time and I had constant doubts about whether I could push through the swim. Around the first feed, Hannah and Robert arrived at the beach and Ad left me for a short while to go and say Hi. Though I feel much more comfortable in Anderby now I still didn't like him not being near me, I find it much more comforting to have him there. It's not because I am scared of the open water, I am feeling more and more at home in that, but because I feel that with Ad by my side I can do anything. It sounds a bit corny but it's true. I know he won't let me fail and that is a great comfort.
Hannah and Robert walked the beach for a while and Ad reported that they were going to wait for a short while until the rest of the crew arrived. I was happy with that, the longer is took them to get in the water, the longer I would definitely swim for as I couldn't get out when they were all expecting me to be able to swim the 6hrs. So I knew that the I was guaranteed to swim for at least an hour post them getting in so I counted down to the next feed and waitied. The next feed came slowly but finally I got to the 90mins and Hannah and Robert still weren't in the water which was great news and it meant I would definitely get to three hours, an hour with them and then I could definitely push it for 30minutes more myself. I was justifying to myself that 3hours was still a good session and that not to worry that I wouldn't do the six. Excuses excuses!! I was still feeling cold at this point. Not like worryingly cold just cold enough that it was uncomfortable and your mind starts to question 'What's the point? It's uncomfortable, why put yourself through this hardship. If this was the Channel, you could do it but you've got nothing to prove now. Three hours is a good swim, be pleased with that and go home, have a nice weekend with your fiance...' etc etc. The two hour feed came and despite being happy they weren't in the water, I was also starting to resent the fact they hadn't got in yet thinking that the more they faffed the longer I was actually going to have to swim for. The thoughts kept coming and I kept trying to bat them away, understanding deep down that, having got out early last weekend, it was important to make the six hours. I am always cold around the 2hour point and I was not feeling the love for swimming, but I kept my arms turning, head down and plugged away.
Adam kept me amused by relaying the events of the shore. It seemed something akin to Glastonbury was being erected and more and more people seemed to be arriving. Just before the 2.5hr mark, two other bods appeared in the water. One was a young guy whom I took to be a guy called Sam that Hannah has told me about who has aspirations to swim the Channel in the future and also another lady. They swam over and asked how it was going, I told them I was bit cold which seemed churlish considering they were only in their cossies! Unfortunately a cold North sea isn't the ideal place for introductions or polite conversation so I hoped they wouldn't think I was too rude when I put my head back down and continued swimming. Sam kept pace and I was happy for a while as I knew he was a good swimmer and I appeared to be keeping up with him though he appeared to be swimming head up front crawl. I wondered if he was practicing sighting or something and after a while he put his head down and began to swim properly. Ha, all fantasies that I was swimming ok were then shattered as he easily pulled away! In fairness I felt like I was swimming ok, my stroke was still consistent but he was obviously just very strong through the water. It was lovely having someone else undergoing the same mad caper as me and I felt cheered. The only issue I had was that Sam had obviously noted the fact that I only breathe to my left so had positioned himself between me and the shore so I could see him as we swam along. This was really helpful except it placed him between me and Ad. It was really strange but I felt a strong sense of needing to be near Ad and was almost resentful of Sam being closer to him than me and I really wanted to get back close to him. I put up with it as we swam down the shoreline as I can sight reasonably well heading that way. On the return leg however where I end up sighting out to see I quickly slowed up in order to nip behind Sam so I could get close to Ad again. When I think about it now, it was such an odd feeling to have and I apologise to Sam if I seemed to be weaving around and generally acting a bit strange but I genuinely had a desire to be near Ad. Not least as foolishly by not being near him I felt worried I might swim off line and therefore spend more time heading in one direction, which is crazy as it didn't matter in the slightest, all I needed to do was spend time in the water!!
Anyway, Sam got me through the 2.5hour feed which I was happy to note meant that by the time Han and Robert got in the water I would definitely make it to four hours. I had NO idea what they were upto, after all they'd be here for about three hours at this point but I was starting to feel grateful again that they still weren't in the water and they could definitely chaperone through to match last week's total of four hours. They finally got in the water, I think around the 3hr mark, though it was hard to tell as I think I got a somewhat delayed feed at that point as Ad had got distracted talking to the beach crew! After the first bottle was finished at 90minutes, Ad kayaked into the shore before each feed to collect a new bottle, pre-labelled with feed, top it up with hot water and head back out to feed me. I had two feeds per bottle which meant the first one was always lovely and warm and the second always a bit lukewarm. Still anything remotely warmer than the cold seawater was a bonus at that stage!!
Having Robert and Hannah in the water with me gave me a HUGE boost! It felt like we were back training at Whisby and we surged along like a little pod of dolphins. I started to feel much stronger and the cold feeling that I hadn't been able to shake since I started finally left. The only weird that that was distracting me in the water now was what felt like every so often whacking my hand into a semi-filled water-balloon. Hannah let out a squeak on a few occasions which confirmed that she too had felt them. It was weird, I think they must have been jellyfish from the feel but they definitely weren't stinging which was a relief. I did think I saw a few outlines of white transparent type umbrella structures floating along but the water is so murky in Anderby that it could have just been my eyes playing tricks! I settled down to enjoy swimming with them, knowing I was in for at least four hours which was great. We stopped at every end of the bay to have a quick chat and enjoy the swim. They said I was doing brilliantly and still looked good, which boosted me no end and I loved swimming along with them. I finally started to enjoy the swim and felt the best I ever have on one of these long swims. It was great! I felt fresh and strong and warm and the fight I had had to make to get through the first 3hours or so seemed to disappear. We swam along companionly (hmm, not sure what word I mean here but it's too late so that'll have to do, you know what I mean!) and when we stopped at one end we even saw a grey seal pop its head up nearby. It was amazing - it was so huge and close. Ad had mentioned it earlier when I stopped him as he was grinning away at something. I asked him what it was and he said there was a big grey seal and it reminded him of Heidi and was making him smile! Our dog is just so gorgeous and sometimes she does just look like a big black seal or otter! Hannah and Robert had said they'd seen it numerous times from the beach all throughout the swim and it was obviously keeping an eye out for me. Oh, my own guardian angel seal, nothing beats it!
On the last lap Robert headed out to get a thermometer to do a temp check. I optimistically (or pessimistically in terms of today but optimistically in terms of relatively for the Channel) plumped for 14 degrees, Hannah went for 16 and Robert sitting in the middle at 15. It terms out in was 16 degrees which I was a bit disappointed with as it means we're not that much off Channel temperature. Though actually after the first three hours I didn't feel at all cold so I shouldn't worry too much. After a few laps of the bay, it was time for Robert and Hannah to head in and leave me to finish off. I knew they had been hoping to swim for an hour so I guessed I had around 2hours to go so I was chuffed to bits when Robert said it was nearly quarter past 3 which meant I only had 90mins. I had worried that when they went in I would lose focus and start to feel down again and cold but actually I didn't. I continued to feel warm (relatively!) and felt confident and strong. I knew the six hours was in the bag. Don't get me wrong, knowing it was in the bag and still having to swim out those 90mins are two different things but I never wavered and just kept on. I felt great when we started counting down the last hour and soon it was my final feed. Actually Ad decided to mess with my head a little on the final feed by stopping me early with around 35minutes to go just because we had enough feed left to 'squeeze some more feeds in'!! I refrained from telling him I could manage perfectly well now to get to the end with no more feeds and stop making me think I had less to go than I had, and just carried on feeling triumphant as I headed off for the last lap! A few extra small loops later, just to make up time, and I was counting down the final few minutes. I felt absolutely great, still warm and still strong and brimming with confidence. I had no aches and pains bar a little pain in my right shoulder and a stiff lower back. I fully felt like if I had had to continue swimming for 8, 10 or even 16 hours I definitely could have done. If today had been Channel day, I could have made it, I am sure. It was a fabulous feeling and I have never felt so good at the end of a long swim. What a relief!! It is going to be ok!
I headed in to shore, clumsily body-surfing the waves and met the wonderful little group headed towards me who had been spectating and supporting all day. I met Jacqui and her husband and two boys and she spend no time at all getting me a cup of hot chocolate. Ad helped me strip off and plonked on my lovely wooly hat and wrapped me up in a towel. I felt great, really strong and not tired so I think the feeding has worked well. I was absolutely amazed that there people, who are total strangers by the way, we only met today, would come and spend their day on the beach and look after me and encourage and support me. I was flooded with gratitude. I also couldn't have done it without Robert and Hannah. After I was snuggled up in the sun, they passed me some cake to munch on. It turns out this was birthday cake. Yup, it was Robert's birthday and instead of living it up somewhere celebrating here they were helping me out by swimming around in the freezing sea. They downplayed their part in it all assuring me I would have done it without them. Maybe I would, maybe I wouldn't. I felt sure that the outcome might not have been as successful as it was without them , and even if I had managed it definitely wouldn't have been as easy as they helped make it to be.
Finally I need to say a big thank you to Ad. He is such a massive support on these big sessions. Not only does he sort all the logistics out and look after me and make sure I am fed and warm but just having him there gives me the confidence that it will be ok and that I can do it and that speaks volumes. He also kayaked alongside me for 6 straight hours so he got a bit of a workout in himself plus some very sunburned arms!!
It was turning into a wonderful warm evening but we had a pooch to get back to so we said our goodbyes and very heartfelt thank yous and headed home. Despite many offers of help from Christopher and Sam which were greatly appreciated, I think it was testament to how good I felt that I managed to drag the fully laden down kayak back to the car!!
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