Mid-Channel....

Mid-Channel....

Wednesday 4 August 2010

3 days to go!

So with three days to go until the Double Ironman I thought I would post a few thoughts about how I am feeling. I am surprisingly calm about the whole thing. Now, of course, my attitude may change dramatically by Friday evening but if it anything like Switzerland I am confident that I will be able to stay fairly relaxed. Of course, I had some nerves racking the bike at 5.30 in the morning before Switzerland but those were good nerves - anticipation and adrenaline rather than stomach churning or crippling! And I feel the same about the Double at the moment.

This year has been a bit of a relevation in that I have realised that I have been defined for too long by my need to do endurance events - ever longer and harder than before. I don't know where the drive comes from to do them, I was obviously searching for something, trying to fulfil some hole or gap that I couldn't pinpoint and didn't know where or how it came to be there. Behaviours like that I am sure are set from childhood and though I can identify various aspects that may have contributed I don't know feel the need to delve to deep. Whether it is through meeting Adam or being seperated from him as I am at the moment I don't know, but I finally understand that I am made up of much more than just the 'girl who does the crazy endurance events' and also that these events are my HOBBY. The world will not end if I don't do them or don't finish them, no-one will die and few people will even notice! Those that do will tend to be those who care enough about me to love me whether I am proving how 'strong' or mentally tough' or 'superwoman-like' I am or not. I don't feel the need to analyse much more, suffice to say I am in a very calm place now about these events. The day will come to race and the day (or days!) will pass and what will be will be. The would will certainly not stop turning for 72 crazy athletes swimming, cycling and running in little circles somewhere in a Lichfield backwater!

At this point I should probably reassure my sponsors that whilst I have come to realise that these races are not the be all and end all and I am looking forward to my retirement come next September, I am also really looking forward to the challenges of the next 12months. Realising that they are not the be all and end all has lifted the pressure and as such I am feeling really excited about both the races and the training and hopefully achieving all my goals. Having only 12months to go before the A2A also allows me to focus on an end date when all the hard work and sacrific will be over and that gives me renewed determination to do everything I can to achieve everything I have wanted to over the next year.

So, to the Double! Wow, the logistics for this race are incredible. I knew how to pack for IM this time and had a smug chuckle and my friends who were doing it for the first time and had piles and piles of different kit and nutrition choices laid out in transition and they didn't know what would work for them. I had the minimal stuff I needed based on the experience of having raced an IM before. Now, the shoe is firmly on the other foot! I have piles and piles of labelled boxes with all different kinds of kit. And don't even get me started on the nutrition! Going through the night and for so long requires so much more planning: race kit, warm weather kit, kit if it is raining, kit if it gets cold and during the night, different lighting rigs and all the spare tools, batteries and equipment!

The nutrition is hilarious! Honestly, I did half the shop at Tescos the other day and I was surprised Gillian McKeith didn't dive out of the mung bean aisle and strike me down! I had all different things that I would never consider eating: sweets, chocolate, cakes, tinned beans and sausages, cornish pasties, crisps, energy drinks and gels, fatty meats and cheeses, cocktail sausages, sausage rolls, scotch eggs, coke, white rolls, tea cakes etc etc. Urgh, it was gross! Basically I have made a list of everything people have said they felt like eating (not counting the bacon rolls from the catering van, and the egg McMuffin for McDonalds!) at various times and bought it all. Experienced racers have said you just never know what your body will feel like at various points so it is important to have a huge selection to try and tempt yourself into eating. Goodness only knows what we'll do with the leftovers though - yuk!!

My Mum is a darling and is coming to help crew for me over the weekend! She came to Ironman Germany with my two best friends when I raced there in 2006 and it was amazing to have them all there supporting me - it really made my race! Luckily she seems to be very excited by the propsect of standing in a muddy field for 30+hours feeding a probably emotional and tempermental daughter! It is certainly going to be an interesting weekend!

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