Monday, 12 July 2010

So looong!

Unfortunately this does not refer to any of the training I have been putting in but more to do with the fact that it has been nearly a month since I last posted! How can this be?! I guess it has just been such an eventful month that time has passed without me even realising it. I have now been without my wonderful fiance for over two weeks and I miss him terribly! :( I have also celebrated my 29th birthday and had my first DNF!

So, where to start in all of that? This was no doubt have to be a multiple entry as I try and deal with all of things that have happened. Adam's leaving was, by a mile, the thing that has influenced me the most over the last month so I'll start with that. He flew off to undertake a tour of duty on 25 June and I have missed him like crazy since then. Most days I am fine, I miss him but I am ok but then other days things will set me off for no reason. He can call most days but sometimes when things happened in theatre there is a blackout of all communications and I don't hear from him when I expect to. That is the worst, you feel tied to the phone every evening just hoping he might phone and it wastes all your time as I would be devastated if I missed his call. He managed to finally phone on Saturday having not being in contact since the Tuesday and luckily I had just settled down to my mid-ride cake on our Saturday club ride. Hearing his voice I just burst into tears and left the rest of my tri club thinking I was a loon!

I have been training better since he left though I am still so far off schedule to where I would have liked to be. But that, I suppose is life! Next year when training for the A2A things will throw me and I just have to face them, stay calm and do what I can without getting too stressed. Mentally I can't cope at the moment with anything really long or really tough so I trying to look after myself, get some good sessions in when I feeling strong and seek out the company of others when I am feeling not so strong. I was really worried about the state of my running especially seeing as I fly to Switzerland in less than 10 days so I got on the treadmill on Wednesday and just ran for 2.5hours covering just under 15miles. And it felt easy! That was such a relief and confidence builder and shows I have more residue fitness than I thought. So I just need to get a few more consistent sessions in between now and leaving for Switzerland, have a great steady day in IMCH and then let the taper commence! I do feel that deep down it will be ok and am mostly surprisingly calm. I think Ad's going away has shown me that actually my sporting achievements, whilst something I am extremely committed to and proud of, are really just a distraction and a hobby, they are not the things that matter in life. And, like everything so long as I try my best in training and in racing then, come what may, I should be proud.

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