So with three days to go until the Double Ironman I thought I would post a few thoughts about how I am feeling. I am surprisingly calm about the whole thing. Now, of course, my attitude may change dramatically by Friday evening but if it anything like Switzerland I am confident that I will be able to stay fairly relaxed. Of course, I had some nerves racking the bike at 5.30 in the morning before Switzerland but those were good nerves - anticipation and adrenaline rather than stomach churning or crippling! And I feel the same about the Double at the moment.
This year has been a bit of a relevation in that I have realised that I have been defined for too long by my need to do endurance events - ever longer and harder than before. I don't know where the drive comes from to do them, I was obviously searching for something, trying to fulfil some hole or gap that I couldn't pinpoint and didn't know where or how it came to be there. Behaviours like that I am sure are set from childhood and though I can identify various aspects that may have contributed I don't know feel the need to delve to deep. Whether it is through meeting Adam or being seperated from him as I am at the moment I don't know, but I finally understand that I am made up of much more than just the 'girl who does the crazy endurance events' and also that these events are my HOBBY. The world will not end if I don't do them or don't finish them, no-one will die and few people will even notice! Those that do will tend to be those who care enough about me to love me whether I am proving how 'strong' or mentally tough' or 'superwoman-like' I am or not. I don't feel the need to analyse much more, suffice to say I am in a very calm place now about these events. The day will come to race and the day (or days!) will pass and what will be will be. The would will certainly not stop turning for 72 crazy athletes swimming, cycling and running in little circles somewhere in a Lichfield backwater!
At this point I should probably reassure my sponsors that whilst I have come to realise that these races are not the be all and end all and I am looking forward to my retirement come next September, I am also really looking forward to the challenges of the next 12months. Realising that they are not the be all and end all has lifted the pressure and as such I am feeling really excited about both the races and the training and hopefully achieving all my goals. Having only 12months to go before the A2A also allows me to focus on an end date when all the hard work and sacrific will be over and that gives me renewed determination to do everything I can to achieve everything I have wanted to over the next year.
So, to the Double! Wow, the logistics for this race are incredible. I knew how to pack for IM this time and had a smug chuckle and my friends who were doing it for the first time and had piles and piles of different kit and nutrition choices laid out in transition and they didn't know what would work for them. I had the minimal stuff I needed based on the experience of having raced an IM before. Now, the shoe is firmly on the other foot! I have piles and piles of labelled boxes with all different kinds of kit. And don't even get me started on the nutrition! Going through the night and for so long requires so much more planning: race kit, warm weather kit, kit if it is raining, kit if it gets cold and during the night, different lighting rigs and all the spare tools, batteries and equipment!
The nutrition is hilarious! Honestly, I did half the shop at Tescos the other day and I was surprised Gillian McKeith didn't dive out of the mung bean aisle and strike me down! I had all different things that I would never consider eating: sweets, chocolate, cakes, tinned beans and sausages, cornish pasties, crisps, energy drinks and gels, fatty meats and cheeses, cocktail sausages, sausage rolls, scotch eggs, coke, white rolls, tea cakes etc etc. Urgh, it was gross! Basically I have made a list of everything people have said they felt like eating (not counting the bacon rolls from the catering van, and the egg McMuffin for McDonalds!) at various times and bought it all. Experienced racers have said you just never know what your body will feel like at various points so it is important to have a huge selection to try and tempt yourself into eating. Goodness only knows what we'll do with the leftovers though - yuk!!
My Mum is a darling and is coming to help crew for me over the weekend! She came to Ironman Germany with my two best friends when I raced there in 2006 and it was amazing to have them all there supporting me - it really made my race! Luckily she seems to be very excited by the propsect of standing in a muddy field for 30+hours feeding a probably emotional and tempermental daughter! It is certainly going to be an interesting weekend!
Mid-Channel....
Wednesday, 4 August 2010
Tuesday, 27 July 2010
Ironman Switzerland!
Well the 22 July came round quickly enough and soon I was on the way to Zurich with three friends. Some dramas naturally ensued including a forgotten passport (not mine thank goodness!) but soon we were ensconsed in the Hotel Ibis counting down the days to the big race. Of our group which included my friends and another 6 or so more IM people, only Marc and I had ever done an Ironman before. It was nice to be calm and relaxed for once and able to offer advice and help to those people less experienced. Dealing with other peoples worries meant I didn't have time to stress myself though generally I did feel very calm about it all. Of course I wanted to do well but knowing that it wasn't my 'A' race for the season and that it was technically supposed to be classed as a 'long training day' meant I felt little pressure and could actually enjoy the build up for once! It was also nice being at an event with other people! I haven't ever gone with friends who are also competing to an event before and it was a nice experience to share that with them; we'll always have the memories between us!
So, race report.......
The race, as most IMs do, had its ups and downs. The swim was awful! So much biff! Even I, who am pretty comfortable in the water and fairly experience in the OW wasn't that happy. Within about a minute, one man had grabbed my wetsuit and purposely pulled me back and dunked me under the water. I understand people bashing you, swimming on your legs etc, it can't be helped, everyone is trying to find space, but to purposely pull me back and then dump me was really wrong and also a bit panicky as then it was difficult to get back up from underneath as the melee was then swimming over the top of me! Was SO furious but just thought, 'I must keep calm, it is SUCH a long day, just take a breath and carry on.' Then a few minutes later someone ripped my cap! This was such a nightmare, I tried to leave the remants in place as it was holding back my hair but by doing that it was breaking the goggle seal and water was pouring into one eye!! You couldn't see the buoys really anyway so it was nearly impossible to sight but now blinded in one eye, I had no chance! Ripped the hat remains off at the swim in/out half way point and readjusted my goggles so I could at least see. Better for my eyes but now my hair was swishing round my face so couldn't see anyway! Just jumped on some feet and tried to stay there praying they were going the right way! Considering the hideousness, I was reasonably pleased to be out in 72.
I went off far too fast on the bike - the first 30kms are totally flat and I got down on the bars (never used the before the race - hmmmmm) and hammered it. As I am doing the Double in 2 weeks I was supposed to just be having a steady training day but I got the race head which is NOT what was supposed to happen! Went through the first lap in 3.13 ish which for me is reasonable - the Beast and the following drag after it were horrible and the descents didn't really make up for it as they all involved roundabouts or tight turns so couldnt' keep any speed up (not that I had any as I was on the brakes! ) Really started to suffer on the second lap, my RHS lower back was killing (stupid girl, too much time on the bars with no practice will do that to you!) so much that I even thought maybe I was super dehydrated and had damaged my kidneys!! So on the second lap I was much more sensible. I thought about the Double, came off the bars and concentrated on spinning along as best I could. Considering I was surprised my time only dropped off by 20mins, I thought it would be MUCH worse!!
Wasn't really sure what to do about the run. If I had really been doing a training day, I would have walked it - good training but nowehere near the impact of running a marathon. But part of me did still want to do well and having done very little running I really wanted to see how I'd go off the bike. So I started out on a 9:1 run/walk ratio including stopping during the run sections if there were any uphills or aid stations. Which meant I got to walk quite a lot really. After about 2.5hours, it was too challenging mentally to do the 9:1 thing and my run pace was dropping off so I switched to 4:1 run/walk including stopping for uphills and aid stations as before. So now I got to walk even more. Considering this I was running well in the run sections of it and was chuffed to record a 4.34 which considering my stand alone is 4.06 I was pleased with! I felt I could easily have continued in the 4:1 vein until 30, maybe 35miles and then I probably would have needed more walking but I am pleased with that. So, 12.43 overall which is a PB by 43mins!! Bike and swim times almost identical to IMDE (despite a bike puncture there but I think IMCH bike course is harder), the saving really came off the run which was 4.34 instead of 5.17 so that part of (insubstantial!) training has paid off!
A good race though I just really hope I didn't go too hard and have left my race in Switzerland and not at Lichfield in two weeks time. Only time will tell! Hopefully it was just a really good last training day and confidence booster and now with lots of stretching, massage, good nutrition and hydration and rest, I should have a good race at the Double. I do feel ok and things are not that sore - the people I went out with are hobbling like crazy people whereas I can walk up and down stairs quite normally and even run for the bus! Hopefully this shows my body is more conditioned than I thought. They can't even believe there are people out there willing to consider doing double the distance they have just completed!! It has to be said, biking through the night is really now what I am dreading. Lights practice this weekend!
A huge thank you to all the people who offered good luck messages and support before the race and to those who tracked my progress during the day! Knowing there were people out there following me and willing me on really helped me to keep going and achieve what I did! Overall, a good day at the office! :)
So, race report.......
The race, as most IMs do, had its ups and downs. The swim was awful! So much biff! Even I, who am pretty comfortable in the water and fairly experience in the OW wasn't that happy. Within about a minute, one man had grabbed my wetsuit and purposely pulled me back and dunked me under the water. I understand people bashing you, swimming on your legs etc, it can't be helped, everyone is trying to find space, but to purposely pull me back and then dump me was really wrong and also a bit panicky as then it was difficult to get back up from underneath as the melee was then swimming over the top of me! Was SO furious but just thought, 'I must keep calm, it is SUCH a long day, just take a breath and carry on.' Then a few minutes later someone ripped my cap! This was such a nightmare, I tried to leave the remants in place as it was holding back my hair but by doing that it was breaking the goggle seal and water was pouring into one eye!! You couldn't see the buoys really anyway so it was nearly impossible to sight but now blinded in one eye, I had no chance! Ripped the hat remains off at the swim in/out half way point and readjusted my goggles so I could at least see. Better for my eyes but now my hair was swishing round my face so couldn't see anyway! Just jumped on some feet and tried to stay there praying they were going the right way! Considering the hideousness, I was reasonably pleased to be out in 72.
I went off far too fast on the bike - the first 30kms are totally flat and I got down on the bars (never used the before the race - hmmmmm) and hammered it. As I am doing the Double in 2 weeks I was supposed to just be having a steady training day but I got the race head which is NOT what was supposed to happen! Went through the first lap in 3.13 ish which for me is reasonable - the Beast and the following drag after it were horrible and the descents didn't really make up for it as they all involved roundabouts or tight turns so couldnt' keep any speed up (not that I had any as I was on the brakes! ) Really started to suffer on the second lap, my RHS lower back was killing (stupid girl, too much time on the bars with no practice will do that to you!) so much that I even thought maybe I was super dehydrated and had damaged my kidneys!! So on the second lap I was much more sensible. I thought about the Double, came off the bars and concentrated on spinning along as best I could. Considering I was surprised my time only dropped off by 20mins, I thought it would be MUCH worse!!
Wasn't really sure what to do about the run. If I had really been doing a training day, I would have walked it - good training but nowehere near the impact of running a marathon. But part of me did still want to do well and having done very little running I really wanted to see how I'd go off the bike. So I started out on a 9:1 run/walk ratio including stopping during the run sections if there were any uphills or aid stations. Which meant I got to walk quite a lot really. After about 2.5hours, it was too challenging mentally to do the 9:1 thing and my run pace was dropping off so I switched to 4:1 run/walk including stopping for uphills and aid stations as before. So now I got to walk even more. Considering this I was running well in the run sections of it and was chuffed to record a 4.34 which considering my stand alone is 4.06 I was pleased with! I felt I could easily have continued in the 4:1 vein until 30, maybe 35miles and then I probably would have needed more walking but I am pleased with that. So, 12.43 overall which is a PB by 43mins!! Bike and swim times almost identical to IMDE (despite a bike puncture there but I think IMCH bike course is harder), the saving really came off the run which was 4.34 instead of 5.17 so that part of (insubstantial!) training has paid off!
A good race though I just really hope I didn't go too hard and have left my race in Switzerland and not at Lichfield in two weeks time. Only time will tell! Hopefully it was just a really good last training day and confidence booster and now with lots of stretching, massage, good nutrition and hydration and rest, I should have a good race at the Double. I do feel ok and things are not that sore - the people I went out with are hobbling like crazy people whereas I can walk up and down stairs quite normally and even run for the bus! Hopefully this shows my body is more conditioned than I thought. They can't even believe there are people out there willing to consider doing double the distance they have just completed!! It has to be said, biking through the night is really now what I am dreading. Lights practice this weekend!
A huge thank you to all the people who offered good luck messages and support before the race and to those who tracked my progress during the day! Knowing there were people out there following me and willing me on really helped me to keep going and achieve what I did! Overall, a good day at the office! :)
Monday, 19 July 2010
My first DNF!
So I suppose it is only fair to mention my first DNF. I thought this would be a really soul-destroying, confidence-knocking experience but it actually wasn't at all. Far from it! In fact, once I had made the decision I felt only relief so I knew I had made the right choice and felt proud of myself that I now knew my body so well that I know when to push on and when to call it a day. It actually gave me confidence that on other training days where I have decided not to train and then panicked about losing fitness, where actually probably all decisions made for the right reasons!
So I headed to Lincolnshire to undertake the 156miles Flatout in the Fens race. I met up with some of the Pirates (athletes from the Runners World/Triathletes World forum) and set off for a long day in the saddle. I rode with the Pirates through the first aid station at about 20miles and was have a good day and feeling strong. Unfortunately after about an hour and a half the group I was riding with turned off to complete the 112mile course and I had to continue on my own on the 156mile course. Now it was a scorching, sweltering day and also England's QF match against Germany. I think both of these factors meant a lot of people had dropped down from the 156mile ride to the 112 and, as such, it was extremely lonely out on the course. I kept trying to remind myself that it would be like that in the Double, I'd be out by myself for ages and would be alone but actually I don't think that will be true. There will be around 70 athletes over a 16mile stretch so there will always be people about and you get to see your loved ones every hour or so for a good mental boost. I hadn't realised how much being around other people affects your mental state - normally I like to train on my own (certainly for running) and thought I worked best like that but now I realise that actually, for these huge distances, breaking it down with someone else works an absolute treat! Also, I hadn't factored in the fact that Adam leaving only 24hrs beforehand would affect me so much. When the Pirates left me to continue on their own route I actually felt totally abandoned and alone which obviously shows where my head was at.
So I continued on to about the 50mile point when I decided I would call it a day. I rang race control but was told no-one would be able to help me get back from where I was and could I make it to checkpoint 2. I said yes probably, how far was it? And was told 20-odd miles! That was ridiculous and I think really contributed to my downfall. To have an aid station at 20miles and then nothing until 72miles, especially in that heat, was absolutely ridiculous! I think if they had had an in-between one where I could have re-fuelled, had a chat with some people and re-focused I would have gone on to complete the day - I wasn't very impressed it has to be said! Anyway, I finally reached Checkpoint 2 to overhear the marshal going, "yep, well she's not here yet and anyway, what does she think we are, some kind of taxi service?!" I could tell they weret talking about me and despite not being particularly impressed with that attitude, I was inwardly amused when she got off the phone and blushed scarlet when she realised I had overheard the whole conversation! Anyway, it turned out I would only be picked up when the sag wagon got there in about 3 hours!! I though, thank goodness I didn't have some kind of medical emergency! Instead of waiting for 3 hours I decided I may aswell ride on as it would probably only take me that long to get back anyway!! So off I went. However, within 2 or 3miles there was a train station and I thought, blow this for a game of soldiers , let's see if I can get back by train.
I called the Trainline and managed (after an expensive and convoluted journey) to get back within 10miles of the start after an hour or so on the train. I was worried about getting the bike on but I had no problems and after I slumped down into my seat with a bottle of coke I knew it had absolutely been the right choice (despite the train conductor calling me a wimp!!! I genuinely think he had no idea what I had been doing - his idea of cycling was apparently a 7mile commute to work!!)
On arrival at the station I tried to get a taxi to collect me and take me the last 10miles but after some random bargaining ritual it was still going to cost me £27 quid which I couldn't afford so I set off to try and find the way back. After a frustrating jaunt through the town where I managed to end up back at the train station, I finally got comprehensive instructions and found the way back to the start. Physically I felt find on the way back and pushed it along for 10miles TT-esque which was a great confidence booster as I knew it wasn't that I wasn't physically capable today, my head just wasn't where it needed to be. It takes a huge amount of mental strength to do 156miles by yourself and I just couldn't find it today and I didn't want to try either. I almost felt that by dredging up the reserve I would need to complete it would almost use up some of the mental strength I am building to have to deal with the double. I want to be mentally ready for the Double, not mentally fatigued and I think completing the ride today would have had the most detrimental effect on this area.
So, whilst it was an unfinished job, it was a decision made for all the right reasons and one that has actually given me confidence in my ability to make good decisions about my body and also not required me to dig into the precious reserves of mental strength that I will so definitely need in a few weeks time. In hindsight (which is a wonderful thing!) I should probably have stuck with the pirates and completed the 112miles but I still managed around 90 by myself in the heat so, all in all, it was a good day's work!
So I headed to Lincolnshire to undertake the 156miles Flatout in the Fens race. I met up with some of the Pirates (athletes from the Runners World/Triathletes World forum) and set off for a long day in the saddle. I rode with the Pirates through the first aid station at about 20miles and was have a good day and feeling strong. Unfortunately after about an hour and a half the group I was riding with turned off to complete the 112mile course and I had to continue on my own on the 156mile course. Now it was a scorching, sweltering day and also England's QF match against Germany. I think both of these factors meant a lot of people had dropped down from the 156mile ride to the 112 and, as such, it was extremely lonely out on the course. I kept trying to remind myself that it would be like that in the Double, I'd be out by myself for ages and would be alone but actually I don't think that will be true. There will be around 70 athletes over a 16mile stretch so there will always be people about and you get to see your loved ones every hour or so for a good mental boost. I hadn't realised how much being around other people affects your mental state - normally I like to train on my own (certainly for running) and thought I worked best like that but now I realise that actually, for these huge distances, breaking it down with someone else works an absolute treat! Also, I hadn't factored in the fact that Adam leaving only 24hrs beforehand would affect me so much. When the Pirates left me to continue on their own route I actually felt totally abandoned and alone which obviously shows where my head was at.
So I continued on to about the 50mile point when I decided I would call it a day. I rang race control but was told no-one would be able to help me get back from where I was and could I make it to checkpoint 2. I said yes probably, how far was it? And was told 20-odd miles! That was ridiculous and I think really contributed to my downfall. To have an aid station at 20miles and then nothing until 72miles, especially in that heat, was absolutely ridiculous! I think if they had had an in-between one where I could have re-fuelled, had a chat with some people and re-focused I would have gone on to complete the day - I wasn't very impressed it has to be said! Anyway, I finally reached Checkpoint 2 to overhear the marshal going, "yep, well she's not here yet and anyway, what does she think we are, some kind of taxi service?!" I could tell they weret talking about me and despite not being particularly impressed with that attitude, I was inwardly amused when she got off the phone and blushed scarlet when she realised I had overheard the whole conversation! Anyway, it turned out I would only be picked up when the sag wagon got there in about 3 hours!! I though, thank goodness I didn't have some kind of medical emergency! Instead of waiting for 3 hours I decided I may aswell ride on as it would probably only take me that long to get back anyway!! So off I went. However, within 2 or 3miles there was a train station and I thought, blow this for a game of soldiers , let's see if I can get back by train.
I called the Trainline and managed (after an expensive and convoluted journey) to get back within 10miles of the start after an hour or so on the train. I was worried about getting the bike on but I had no problems and after I slumped down into my seat with a bottle of coke I knew it had absolutely been the right choice (despite the train conductor calling me a wimp!!! I genuinely think he had no idea what I had been doing - his idea of cycling was apparently a 7mile commute to work!!)
On arrival at the station I tried to get a taxi to collect me and take me the last 10miles but after some random bargaining ritual it was still going to cost me £27 quid which I couldn't afford so I set off to try and find the way back. After a frustrating jaunt through the town where I managed to end up back at the train station, I finally got comprehensive instructions and found the way back to the start. Physically I felt find on the way back and pushed it along for 10miles TT-esque which was a great confidence booster as I knew it wasn't that I wasn't physically capable today, my head just wasn't where it needed to be. It takes a huge amount of mental strength to do 156miles by yourself and I just couldn't find it today and I didn't want to try either. I almost felt that by dredging up the reserve I would need to complete it would almost use up some of the mental strength I am building to have to deal with the double. I want to be mentally ready for the Double, not mentally fatigued and I think completing the ride today would have had the most detrimental effect on this area.
So, whilst it was an unfinished job, it was a decision made for all the right reasons and one that has actually given me confidence in my ability to make good decisions about my body and also not required me to dig into the precious reserves of mental strength that I will so definitely need in a few weeks time. In hindsight (which is a wonderful thing!) I should probably have stuck with the pirates and completed the 112miles but I still managed around 90 by myself in the heat so, all in all, it was a good day's work!
Monday, 12 July 2010
So looong!
Unfortunately this does not refer to any of the training I have been putting in but more to do with the fact that it has been nearly a month since I last posted! How can this be?! I guess it has just been such an eventful month that time has passed without me even realising it. I have now been without my wonderful fiance for over two weeks and I miss him terribly! :( I have also celebrated my 29th birthday and had my first DNF!
So, where to start in all of that? This was no doubt have to be a multiple entry as I try and deal with all of things that have happened. Adam's leaving was, by a mile, the thing that has influenced me the most over the last month so I'll start with that. He flew off to undertake a tour of duty on 25 June and I have missed him like crazy since then. Most days I am fine, I miss him but I am ok but then other days things will set me off for no reason. He can call most days but sometimes when things happened in theatre there is a blackout of all communications and I don't hear from him when I expect to. That is the worst, you feel tied to the phone every evening just hoping he might phone and it wastes all your time as I would be devastated if I missed his call. He managed to finally phone on Saturday having not being in contact since the Tuesday and luckily I had just settled down to my mid-ride cake on our Saturday club ride. Hearing his voice I just burst into tears and left the rest of my tri club thinking I was a loon!
I have been training better since he left though I am still so far off schedule to where I would have liked to be. But that, I suppose is life! Next year when training for the A2A things will throw me and I just have to face them, stay calm and do what I can without getting too stressed. Mentally I can't cope at the moment with anything really long or really tough so I trying to look after myself, get some good sessions in when I feeling strong and seek out the company of others when I am feeling not so strong. I was really worried about the state of my running especially seeing as I fly to Switzerland in less than 10 days so I got on the treadmill on Wednesday and just ran for 2.5hours covering just under 15miles. And it felt easy! That was such a relief and confidence builder and shows I have more residue fitness than I thought. So I just need to get a few more consistent sessions in between now and leaving for Switzerland, have a great steady day in IMCH and then let the taper commence! I do feel that deep down it will be ok and am mostly surprisingly calm. I think Ad's going away has shown me that actually my sporting achievements, whilst something I am extremely committed to and proud of, are really just a distraction and a hobby, they are not the things that matter in life. And, like everything so long as I try my best in training and in racing then, come what may, I should be proud.
So, where to start in all of that? This was no doubt have to be a multiple entry as I try and deal with all of things that have happened. Adam's leaving was, by a mile, the thing that has influenced me the most over the last month so I'll start with that. He flew off to undertake a tour of duty on 25 June and I have missed him like crazy since then. Most days I am fine, I miss him but I am ok but then other days things will set me off for no reason. He can call most days but sometimes when things happened in theatre there is a blackout of all communications and I don't hear from him when I expect to. That is the worst, you feel tied to the phone every evening just hoping he might phone and it wastes all your time as I would be devastated if I missed his call. He managed to finally phone on Saturday having not being in contact since the Tuesday and luckily I had just settled down to my mid-ride cake on our Saturday club ride. Hearing his voice I just burst into tears and left the rest of my tri club thinking I was a loon!
I have been training better since he left though I am still so far off schedule to where I would have liked to be. But that, I suppose is life! Next year when training for the A2A things will throw me and I just have to face them, stay calm and do what I can without getting too stressed. Mentally I can't cope at the moment with anything really long or really tough so I trying to look after myself, get some good sessions in when I feeling strong and seek out the company of others when I am feeling not so strong. I was really worried about the state of my running especially seeing as I fly to Switzerland in less than 10 days so I got on the treadmill on Wednesday and just ran for 2.5hours covering just under 15miles. And it felt easy! That was such a relief and confidence builder and shows I have more residue fitness than I thought. So I just need to get a few more consistent sessions in between now and leaving for Switzerland, have a great steady day in IMCH and then let the taper commence! I do feel that deep down it will be ok and am mostly surprisingly calm. I think Ad's going away has shown me that actually my sporting achievements, whilst something I am extremely committed to and proud of, are really just a distraction and a hobby, they are not the things that matter in life. And, like everything so long as I try my best in training and in racing then, come what may, I should be proud.
Thursday, 17 June 2010
The Magnificat!
As you will be aware from reading this blog, life has somewhat been getting in the way of training recently. Adam is due to go away for a military tour of duty and he now leaves in a ridiculous 8 days! I don't think it has really hit me yet. In some ways I have almost been wishing him out of the door as wanting to spend time with him is impeding training and our busy social schedule is taking its toll. We are both obviously under pressure and stressed and emotional which is making us more snipey with each other than usual so I have kind of thinking it will be nice to get back into a routine and back on an even emotional keel once he has gone. Of course, this has come from the luxury of him still being here and his departure not being imminent but now he is actually leaving very soon, I am wishing so much that he wasn't going. I don't care if it messes with training or makes life harder, it is always better when he is with me and I am going to miss him so so much!
So, with regards to training, I have managed to make some key sessions but I am still missing the consistency I had. I am also eating for England! I have no idea why this is - emotional probably plus the social side of things - and I have got to stop it! I need to be as lean as possible in order to complete the 52miles of the Double Iron with the minimum amount of pain so once Adam has left it'll be a detox and strict healthy eating for the remaining month. I am probably up to around 90mins running which seems a long way from 52miles but I appreciate how difficult it is to train for this distances without getting injured. I plan to try for 20miles run/walk this weekend which will put me back on track and then a few 15mile weeks during july and then obviously the marathon at IM switzerland. Swimming I am not too worried about, I probably try and get a 5k and 6k distance done in the pool over the next month or so, I may even attempt the whole 7.6kms one day just so I know at least one distance is ok! Cycling I will ramp up a lot over the next month. I did the 127mile UCI Magnificat Sportive on Sunday (more on that later) and have the 156mile Flatout in the Fens planned for 27 June. This weekend I am concentrating on running so might do a 50-70miler just to keep my eye in and then rest in advance of the big one! Then I plan to throw in another 100miler around the 10-11 July and then a 50-70miler then following weekend before we head out to IMCH. I am not really planning to taper much for IMCH as I have to just view it as a long training day and not a race though I know, in the heat of competition, that will be difficult!
So, the UCI Magnificat! My longest ride to date by a good 13miles! I was a bit nervous as I had heard it was a very hilly course and, wow it didn't disappoint! The first 10miles saw the 'Scorpions Sting' - a triple whammy of three hills including a 20%-er that I had no idea how I got up! There was photographers at the summit of every hill, naturally to catch up when you looked at your most knackered, and I gave them good opportunity to snap away - it was tough! I decided just to break it down in 40mile or so sections which is when there was a feed stop, and I imagined I do each section in around 3hours or just under as that is what it takes me to do the 3x14M(42miles) laps at home. I was very wrong! The first 38miles dropped in 2.47 which was pretty good but then we slowed a bit. I luckily found another girl to ride with which really helped as I think it would have been a long long day without her company. I think she was a little slower than me, certainly up the hills where I surprised myself by not being too poor!, so I think I probably could have posted a faster time than I did but in the end we rolled home in just over 10hours! Very slow - slower than I expected certainly but fabulous training for the double. I am hoping to complete the bike course in around 16hours so I would only have 6 hours further to go. I certainly felt I could manage anther 6 hours if I had to but, don't get me wrong, I was super happy to get off the bike!! And surprisingly my legs also didn't feel too bad when I got, I couldn't try for a jog as I had my cycling shoes on, but I felt that I could definitely have started off. Naturally 224miles is a lot longer than 127miles but it doesn't seem as insurmountable anymore - a good confidence-building session!
So, with regards to training, I have managed to make some key sessions but I am still missing the consistency I had. I am also eating for England! I have no idea why this is - emotional probably plus the social side of things - and I have got to stop it! I need to be as lean as possible in order to complete the 52miles of the Double Iron with the minimum amount of pain so once Adam has left it'll be a detox and strict healthy eating for the remaining month. I am probably up to around 90mins running which seems a long way from 52miles but I appreciate how difficult it is to train for this distances without getting injured. I plan to try for 20miles run/walk this weekend which will put me back on track and then a few 15mile weeks during july and then obviously the marathon at IM switzerland. Swimming I am not too worried about, I probably try and get a 5k and 6k distance done in the pool over the next month or so, I may even attempt the whole 7.6kms one day just so I know at least one distance is ok! Cycling I will ramp up a lot over the next month. I did the 127mile UCI Magnificat Sportive on Sunday (more on that later) and have the 156mile Flatout in the Fens planned for 27 June. This weekend I am concentrating on running so might do a 50-70miler just to keep my eye in and then rest in advance of the big one! Then I plan to throw in another 100miler around the 10-11 July and then a 50-70miler then following weekend before we head out to IMCH. I am not really planning to taper much for IMCH as I have to just view it as a long training day and not a race though I know, in the heat of competition, that will be difficult!
So, the UCI Magnificat! My longest ride to date by a good 13miles! I was a bit nervous as I had heard it was a very hilly course and, wow it didn't disappoint! The first 10miles saw the 'Scorpions Sting' - a triple whammy of three hills including a 20%-er that I had no idea how I got up! There was photographers at the summit of every hill, naturally to catch up when you looked at your most knackered, and I gave them good opportunity to snap away - it was tough! I decided just to break it down in 40mile or so sections which is when there was a feed stop, and I imagined I do each section in around 3hours or just under as that is what it takes me to do the 3x14M(42miles) laps at home. I was very wrong! The first 38miles dropped in 2.47 which was pretty good but then we slowed a bit. I luckily found another girl to ride with which really helped as I think it would have been a long long day without her company. I think she was a little slower than me, certainly up the hills where I surprised myself by not being too poor!, so I think I probably could have posted a faster time than I did but in the end we rolled home in just over 10hours! Very slow - slower than I expected certainly but fabulous training for the double. I am hoping to complete the bike course in around 16hours so I would only have 6 hours further to go. I certainly felt I could manage anther 6 hours if I had to but, don't get me wrong, I was super happy to get off the bike!! And surprisingly my legs also didn't feel too bad when I got, I couldn't try for a jog as I had my cycling shoes on, but I felt that I could definitely have started off. Naturally 224miles is a lot longer than 127miles but it doesn't seem as insurmountable anymore - a good confidence-building session!
Friday, 28 May 2010
The Ups and Downs of endurance training. The Downs.....2
I wanted to write a little bit more on why I have found it so hard to sacrifice time away from Ad. I am naturally focused on the future, the new challenges I can face, new places to go and things to learn. Sometimes I wonder what drives me to achieve those things and why I can't be more content with both myself and then moment I am living in. One of my friends, a fellow RAF triathlete and blogger is living a new lifestyle according to the 'Primal Blueprint' - more on that another day - very interesting! She says it is not 'just a diet' but has totally revamped her outlook on life and she now sees a lot of her friends living under such pressure - a way she empathises with as it used to be her. She recently blogged this description of it influenced by her reading a book called, 'Born to Run'.
One of the more interesting aspects were the mini biographies of a number of the 'racers'. We are talking here about ultradistance runners, 50, 80, 100 plus milers, mostly mountain trail running. However there were also IM triathletes too. Many of them seem to be literally running from things, driven to batter themselves day after day, week after week as if undergoing some kind of either personal punishment or perhaps distraction from their lives.I certainly recognised a former me in the description and a number of people I know within my circle. In fact there are several bloggers I follow that profess to be training for a peak performance at their 'A' race but when you look at what they are doing, or the comments they make 'I really beasted myself', 'I love the pain', 'I do it to earn my recovery' etc it is clear that peak performance is very far what what they will achieve so it makes me wonder what is actually going on underneath.
I also see aspects of myself in this, though I don't think I am striving every day to 'batter' myself, more to 'better' myself. However, whilst that seems a commendable pursuit sometimes you need to sit down with yourself and go, 'you know what, you are actually alright as you are, stop trying to do all these things to improve yourself and just be happy with where you are at'. I think a lot of things I have done in my life have been driven by this desire to better myself and I am only just learning that maybe I am ok as I am. I remember saying to Ad, "I can't wait to be finished with triathlon and have some time." Bless him, he probably thought I meant to spend doing things with him and our friends and family, fun things, smelling the daises type of things. But I said, "yep, it'll be great, I'm going to re-train as a nutritionist and also learn italian and russian!" Another classic example of me trying to 'better' myself. Why can't I think the former option isn't more appealing!
And don't get me wrong. It really is starting to be. We had a wonderful time last weekend with our friends in Devon and their brand new baby niece. We had BBQs, swam in the sea, ate icrecream and drank wine. And I laughed a lot. In fact, one time I was laughing hysterically, like you do as a child. And Ad just looked at me and said, "Wow, it's so nice to see you laugh at something." Jeez. And suddenly it wasn't that funny anymore. I mean, how sad it that? That I don't laugh and be happy enough that my wonderful fiance who I adore actually thinks me laughing is a noteworthy event. Things have to change!!
It was summed up by an extremely upsetting event that occured during the week. The Chairman of RAF Triathlon died suddenly whilst competing. His wife was with him and I don't know if that was a blessing or not. He was only 54 and leaves 3 children. He would have had future dreams and plans and hopes and his wife will have had them for the both of them. And now they are both robbed of that opportunity. I just hope he was happy that day and living in his present, because that was all he was going to get. My blogger friend summed it up in her post of yesterday:
When events like this occur it's natural to take a step back and really think about your own situation. My husband is only 51, that's only three years younger and I know we have lots of plans for the next few years and well into his retirement which isn't so far away now. The thought of him just not returning home one day is an overwhelming one and certainly focuses your mind on what is really important. It's very easy to let the everyday minutiae of life take over, to allow inconsequential aspects of your life to assume far greater importance than they warrant. I guess to miss the wood for the trees.
It's also easy to keep putting off doing things you've always meant to, or really changing things that simply aren't working for you, taking the path of least resistance even if the end result would be a big step forward. Often it's fear, or inertia, or just laziness perhaps, or the notion that there is plenty of time. But as yesterday demonstrates there may be no more time.I've blogged this week about the importance of being present in every moment, of noticing, I didn't realize just how relevant those thoughts would become, because we just don't know what might be around the corner.I had planned to do a long ride today but it hasn't happened as I've been busy doing 'my bit' within the committee. And does it matter. No, not a jot. What matters is really appreciating what you have, making sure those you love know it and living in the present because 'now' is really all we can be sure of.
This sums it up greatly for me and though Ad and I have discussed my path for the next 18months and are fully committed to it, I also cannot wait for my retirement day in September next year when I can spend time with those who mean the most to me and do the things that really matter in life. I hope this lesson is also a positive one for the next 18 months of training. It will be difficult and there will be times I don't want to do it anymore. But if I can just be grateful every single day for the opportunity of being able to attempt an event such as this and fulfil one of my dreams, then the journey will become easier. People often say that attempting events of this magnitude are life-changing and i've always found it a bit cliched but I think, sometimes cliches are there for a reason and you know what, maybe they have a point.
One of the more interesting aspects were the mini biographies of a number of the 'racers'. We are talking here about ultradistance runners, 50, 80, 100 plus milers, mostly mountain trail running. However there were also IM triathletes too. Many of them seem to be literally running from things, driven to batter themselves day after day, week after week as if undergoing some kind of either personal punishment or perhaps distraction from their lives.I certainly recognised a former me in the description and a number of people I know within my circle. In fact there are several bloggers I follow that profess to be training for a peak performance at their 'A' race but when you look at what they are doing, or the comments they make 'I really beasted myself', 'I love the pain', 'I do it to earn my recovery' etc it is clear that peak performance is very far what what they will achieve so it makes me wonder what is actually going on underneath.
I also see aspects of myself in this, though I don't think I am striving every day to 'batter' myself, more to 'better' myself. However, whilst that seems a commendable pursuit sometimes you need to sit down with yourself and go, 'you know what, you are actually alright as you are, stop trying to do all these things to improve yourself and just be happy with where you are at'. I think a lot of things I have done in my life have been driven by this desire to better myself and I am only just learning that maybe I am ok as I am. I remember saying to Ad, "I can't wait to be finished with triathlon and have some time." Bless him, he probably thought I meant to spend doing things with him and our friends and family, fun things, smelling the daises type of things. But I said, "yep, it'll be great, I'm going to re-train as a nutritionist and also learn italian and russian!" Another classic example of me trying to 'better' myself. Why can't I think the former option isn't more appealing!
And don't get me wrong. It really is starting to be. We had a wonderful time last weekend with our friends in Devon and their brand new baby niece. We had BBQs, swam in the sea, ate icrecream and drank wine. And I laughed a lot. In fact, one time I was laughing hysterically, like you do as a child. And Ad just looked at me and said, "Wow, it's so nice to see you laugh at something." Jeez. And suddenly it wasn't that funny anymore. I mean, how sad it that? That I don't laugh and be happy enough that my wonderful fiance who I adore actually thinks me laughing is a noteworthy event. Things have to change!!
It was summed up by an extremely upsetting event that occured during the week. The Chairman of RAF Triathlon died suddenly whilst competing. His wife was with him and I don't know if that was a blessing or not. He was only 54 and leaves 3 children. He would have had future dreams and plans and hopes and his wife will have had them for the both of them. And now they are both robbed of that opportunity. I just hope he was happy that day and living in his present, because that was all he was going to get. My blogger friend summed it up in her post of yesterday:
When events like this occur it's natural to take a step back and really think about your own situation. My husband is only 51, that's only three years younger and I know we have lots of plans for the next few years and well into his retirement which isn't so far away now. The thought of him just not returning home one day is an overwhelming one and certainly focuses your mind on what is really important. It's very easy to let the everyday minutiae of life take over, to allow inconsequential aspects of your life to assume far greater importance than they warrant. I guess to miss the wood for the trees.
It's also easy to keep putting off doing things you've always meant to, or really changing things that simply aren't working for you, taking the path of least resistance even if the end result would be a big step forward. Often it's fear, or inertia, or just laziness perhaps, or the notion that there is plenty of time. But as yesterday demonstrates there may be no more time.I've blogged this week about the importance of being present in every moment, of noticing, I didn't realize just how relevant those thoughts would become, because we just don't know what might be around the corner.I had planned to do a long ride today but it hasn't happened as I've been busy doing 'my bit' within the committee. And does it matter. No, not a jot. What matters is really appreciating what you have, making sure those you love know it and living in the present because 'now' is really all we can be sure of.
This sums it up greatly for me and though Ad and I have discussed my path for the next 18months and are fully committed to it, I also cannot wait for my retirement day in September next year when I can spend time with those who mean the most to me and do the things that really matter in life. I hope this lesson is also a positive one for the next 18 months of training. It will be difficult and there will be times I don't want to do it anymore. But if I can just be grateful every single day for the opportunity of being able to attempt an event such as this and fulfil one of my dreams, then the journey will become easier. People often say that attempting events of this magnitude are life-changing and i've always found it a bit cliched but I think, sometimes cliches are there for a reason and you know what, maybe they have a point.
The Ups and Downs of endurance training. The Downs.....
Since the Paris marathon but very noticeably over the last week I have been increasingly unmotivated to traing. I've fitted a few key sessions in and had a very good race at the Marshman Plus so it would seem all is on track. However, I have also missed some key sessions and am now relying on a base of fitness that is diminshing by the day. I can't out my finger on what it is - I have had lots of discussions with people who have done the Double before and it seems this lull is pretty normal and I am trying not to get worried. However, I have also felt increasingly reluctant to take time away for the time I can spend with Adam as it is now less than a month until he is posted OOA for a tour of 6 months. I have no idea how this is affecting me subconsciously but it has definitely made me aware of what is important in my life and triathlon has become increasingly less. Since we have become engaged I have really been focused on us and our future and spending time with family and friends has become so important and something we don't get to do enough of. I have also been thinking a lot about where my future in the RAF lies and what I will want to do when I do decide to move on. All of these thoughts are big considerations and have impeded the focus I need to knuckle down and get on with training.
I have however also been a bit ill. I think I am suffering for adult onset hayfever. I have never had this before but Adam suffers quite badly. I have had more headaches, tired eyes and pain behind the bridge of my nose. I have also, over the last three days felt absolutely knocked for six! I had a day off on Wednesday and was determined to try and get some quality training in. I wanted to do a minimum of 70miles on the bike with a 10mile run off. What did I manage? 42miles. I just felt exhausted. It was a big mental struggle as I felt mentally strong enough that if I had to I could have pushed on but I felt it was the right thing to do to stop. I initially berated myself for stopping but considering I then spent the afternoon fast asleep I figured maybe I had made the right choice. Being self-coached can be so difficult - to know when to stop and to know when to stop making excuses is often a difficult call!! It was so bad I was even thinking of withdrawing from the Double and posted my thoughts on various forums. I had such a lot of support and advice, it was great. Adam laughs at me for using the forums but when you are self-coached I think they're a life-saver. I got a wonderful message from one lady which I hope she won't mind me using - I have also copied my response to her to hopefully explain where I am at:
Hi Rach,
Just wanted to say that I totally empathise with what you are going through. I know our situations are somewhat different but I totally get what you are saying about how when you entered your life was very different to how you are now. Whatever you do, don't be hard on yourself. I get the pressure of a double Ironman, god knows how heavily it weighed on me. But it doesn't have to, others had a very relaxed view of it last year and did fab times .I just found that my priorities changed alot and realised that my kids needed me much more (been going through a messy divorce) and that really I wanted to spend my time with them not on a 5 hr bike ride. I thought that I'd be letting loadsa people down by changing my mind but I only found support.
Anyhoo I'm not trying to say stay in or out but rather whatever you decide needs to be the right decision for you.
Forget all the other voices, the ones that say 'should do this, should do that, would, could etc', do what totally feels right in your gut. You will get so much support on here whatever you do.
And my reply:
Hello, Thanks so much for this message - it really really helped me when I received it. Just to feel someone else gets what you are going through is great. So often with stuff like this you can get into the mindset that everyone is focused, strong, training like demons and never feels like giving up, having a temper tantrum or a cry or just lounging about eating cake instead. It was great to hear that from others too - to know that you experienced and accomplished athletes also have bad days was comforting! The pressure does weigh heavily but it is something I have to learn to deal with and that in itself is a very useful experience.
I KNOW it will be worse with the A2A. Adam will have just come home and I'll want to spend all my time with him and plan our wedding and just have fun and I won't be able to because I KNOW I can't blag the A2A and the pressure not just from myself and the enormity of the event but also from sponsors, fundraising targets, media interest etc. So I do need to try and link in to whatever these others have that allows them to be quite relaxed about it whilst maintaining the focus to train. I think that comes with experience too so whilst I wouldn't be stressed now about an IM because I know you can get round without digging yourself into a massive training hole, I have NO idea how you even attempt the double let alone the A2A which has only been done by 6 people! That's a pretty small group to get advice from. So I just need to do what's right for me, forge my own path and try not to worry too much!
I had a good chat with Adam yesterday and he has helped me to realise we both committed to this and though we knew it would get tough juggling stuff, he is 100% behind me and I just need to get on with it, do the things I need to do to satisfy me as an endurance athlete so that it 18months time when I retire I feel I gave everything a good go and can concentrate on beng a good wife and hopefully a good mum soon after that!!
Thank you again for your words - it really has been so helpful to have someone empathise with my position - it really does help. I know everyone would be supportive either way with my decision but I am just going to soldier on and see what I can achieve this summer.
And there's where we are at currently. I am going to do what I can over the next few weeks whilst also spending time with Ad which is the most important thing. I know however that he supports me totally and we have our whole life ahead of us.
I have however also been a bit ill. I think I am suffering for adult onset hayfever. I have never had this before but Adam suffers quite badly. I have had more headaches, tired eyes and pain behind the bridge of my nose. I have also, over the last three days felt absolutely knocked for six! I had a day off on Wednesday and was determined to try and get some quality training in. I wanted to do a minimum of 70miles on the bike with a 10mile run off. What did I manage? 42miles. I just felt exhausted. It was a big mental struggle as I felt mentally strong enough that if I had to I could have pushed on but I felt it was the right thing to do to stop. I initially berated myself for stopping but considering I then spent the afternoon fast asleep I figured maybe I had made the right choice. Being self-coached can be so difficult - to know when to stop and to know when to stop making excuses is often a difficult call!! It was so bad I was even thinking of withdrawing from the Double and posted my thoughts on various forums. I had such a lot of support and advice, it was great. Adam laughs at me for using the forums but when you are self-coached I think they're a life-saver. I got a wonderful message from one lady which I hope she won't mind me using - I have also copied my response to her to hopefully explain where I am at:
Hi Rach,
Just wanted to say that I totally empathise with what you are going through. I know our situations are somewhat different but I totally get what you are saying about how when you entered your life was very different to how you are now. Whatever you do, don't be hard on yourself. I get the pressure of a double Ironman, god knows how heavily it weighed on me. But it doesn't have to, others had a very relaxed view of it last year and did fab times .I just found that my priorities changed alot and realised that my kids needed me much more (been going through a messy divorce) and that really I wanted to spend my time with them not on a 5 hr bike ride. I thought that I'd be letting loadsa people down by changing my mind but I only found support.
Anyhoo I'm not trying to say stay in or out but rather whatever you decide needs to be the right decision for you.
Forget all the other voices, the ones that say 'should do this, should do that, would, could etc', do what totally feels right in your gut. You will get so much support on here whatever you do.
And my reply:
Hello, Thanks so much for this message - it really really helped me when I received it. Just to feel someone else gets what you are going through is great. So often with stuff like this you can get into the mindset that everyone is focused, strong, training like demons and never feels like giving up, having a temper tantrum or a cry or just lounging about eating cake instead. It was great to hear that from others too - to know that you experienced and accomplished athletes also have bad days was comforting! The pressure does weigh heavily but it is something I have to learn to deal with and that in itself is a very useful experience.
I KNOW it will be worse with the A2A. Adam will have just come home and I'll want to spend all my time with him and plan our wedding and just have fun and I won't be able to because I KNOW I can't blag the A2A and the pressure not just from myself and the enormity of the event but also from sponsors, fundraising targets, media interest etc. So I do need to try and link in to whatever these others have that allows them to be quite relaxed about it whilst maintaining the focus to train. I think that comes with experience too so whilst I wouldn't be stressed now about an IM because I know you can get round without digging yourself into a massive training hole, I have NO idea how you even attempt the double let alone the A2A which has only been done by 6 people! That's a pretty small group to get advice from. So I just need to do what's right for me, forge my own path and try not to worry too much!
I had a good chat with Adam yesterday and he has helped me to realise we both committed to this and though we knew it would get tough juggling stuff, he is 100% behind me and I just need to get on with it, do the things I need to do to satisfy me as an endurance athlete so that it 18months time when I retire I feel I gave everything a good go and can concentrate on beng a good wife and hopefully a good mum soon after that!!
Thank you again for your words - it really has been so helpful to have someone empathise with my position - it really does help. I know everyone would be supportive either way with my decision but I am just going to soldier on and see what I can achieve this summer.
And there's where we are at currently. I am going to do what I can over the next few weeks whilst also spending time with Ad which is the most important thing. I know however that he supports me totally and we have our whole life ahead of us.
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